The Sleeping and the Dead
by Depraved Doll
Summary: Duo was a mess after the war, with Heero back in his life things only get worse, especially with Relena threatening the most important thing in his life, can things work out or fail as they usually do for Duo? 1x2
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Ok this is just a little something that popped into my head when I was watching several films, hope you like enough to review and here goes the first chapter…

GWGWGWGWGWGWGW 

_**Chapter one**_

Duo stared down at the letter held tightly in his hands. Three long years of silence, three years of confusion, uncertainty, loneliness and resentment then finally, when he was starting to work things out, starting to move on, his past came back to bite him in the ass and screw things over. He smirked, it was a fact, life refused to give him a break and live happily for too long. It didn't like to see him happy, not one bit. Sighing the former Gundam pilot dropped the letter onto his bed, rubbing his temples softly. How did they even get his address? Last time he had spoken to any of them he had been living on L2.

So how had they managed to get his new address on Earth when he had personally seen to cutting every single thread that connected him to anything? The gentle knocking on his door stirred him from his thoughts. He sighed and yawned softly, throwing himself down onto the bed as he shouted for the person to come in. The door slowly creaked open and soft footsteps could be heard making their way across the carpeted floor until the person reached the bed.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" The woman asked as she lifted the letter off of the floor, the slight shifting of the mattress indicating that she had just perched on the edge of the bed. The soft rustling of paper telling the braided male that she was re-reading the letter she had already read a thousand times. "Come on Duo, get up, get ready and go," she instructed, folding the letter up and lightly tapping the brunette on the head to get his attention. "Stop moping, you're thinking too much and… uh… that's not like the Duo I know."

"Hilde, please, stop pushing. This is a lot to take on board, you're right, I don't think, that is why this whole thing is so hard because I'm thinking so much. I'm thinking about how it's been three, nearly four years since I spoke to any of them, I'm thinking about, how much I've changed in that time. I'm asking myself if they've changed that much, I'm wondering if they're still the same, then will they still like me, I've changed so much that they might not like me any more because I'm not the Duo I once was, I'm not the kid that used to pilot Deathscythe. I'm Duo Maxwell, the adult that has responsibilities."

"But you're still the same person deep down, you just, you've grown up, like I have, like everyone does. They will still like you Duo because, what's not to like?" The dark haired woman asked, rubbing her friends shoulder gently, comfortingly. "Truth is Duo, if you don't go then you'll never know. Will you?" She asked, the violet –eyed man just glanced down at the letter lying forgotten on his bed sheets.

"No, I won't, but sometimes not knowing is a whole lot better than knowing." The brunette explained, trying desperately to hide how much all of this was hurting. He wanted to go, wanted to see them all again so much, but he was scared… scared of change, scared of not liking the people they had become with time. Mostly he was scared that they wouldn't except him and the person that he himself had become. As if reading her friends thoughts Hilde reached out, placing her hand on top of Duo's.

"The Shinigami I knew, didn't get scared and would never doubt himself, plus, if you don't go, and you've dragged me out here for nothing then Eli will be more than just pissed at you. She'll fucking kill you since it is our anniversary today," Duo sighed and gave his friend an apologetic look, he hadn't wanted to drag her away from her partner tonight but he needed someone to talk things through with and look after everything if he did go. There was no one but Hilde that he could turn to. "Don't worry Duo she won't mind if I'm staying here for a purpose whilst you go to Quatre's."

"I can't, I have responsibilities, I can't just up and leave." Hilde chuckled softly and stood from the bed, walking over to her friends closet as she began to sort through his clothes. After three years, he still dressed like a priest, but it was Duo's style, it was who he was and she for one was glad to know that certain things never changed.

"That, Duo Maxwell, Shinigami and former pilot of the great Deathscythe is why I am here, you'll only be gone for an hour or two. I'm sure I can hold the fort for that long." The dark haired woman explained with a slight smirk in the direction of her companion. The brunette sighed and stood picking up the letter and placing it on his dresser before walking over to the wardrobe where Hilde was searching for an outfit that screamed 'Duo Maxwell.'

"Ok, I'll go but I'll have my cell with me, if anything happens then don't hesitate to call me and if I don't click with them and we're just sat there in uncomfortable silences for hours on end I'll make an excuse to leave. Is that acceptable Hilde?" The braided male asked, the woman just smiled and nodded, shoving the clothes she had decided on into her friend's arms before turning and walking in the direction of the door.

"I'll go call you a cab, just so that you can't back out of it, don't panic, don't over do it don't under do it, just be yourself." She explained with a gentle smile as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click as she walked into the kitchen to call a cab. Duo sighed, a sudden feeling of uncertainty and regret passing through him as he began to change. He smirked, if Hilde wanted him to be himself so much then why was she making him change his clothes?

A few minutes later the former Gundam pilot stepped out of his bedroom wearing a pair of tightly fitting black jeans that clung tightly to his slender hips. A red form fitting T-shirt with a black jacket over the top and a pair of brown dress shoes. Long brown hair tied in a braid, as always. Hilde smiled approvingly and clapped her hands together.

"You look great Duo, the cab will be here soon, do you have the letter with the address on it?" She asked as she went about making herself a strawberry milkshake. Duo slid his hand into his back pocket, slipping the letter from his pocket and waving it around for her to see before placing it back. "Good."

"Ok, I have my cell, so call me if you need anything, or anything happens, my number's on the fridge as well as every other number you could possibly need and…"

"Duo, I know what I'm doing, go, have fun, loosen up, be a bit more like the Duo I once knew," Hilde almost demanded as she began sipping her milkshake.

"Hilde, do you think He'll be there?" Duo asked, staring at the woman, as though she were an oracle who could tell him anything he wanted to know if he only asked. She sighed, shrugging her shoulders and shattering any illusion he may have had about her being able to see into the future.

"I don't know Duo, you'll just have to wait and see," the phone to Hilde's left rang and she picked it up, placing it to her ear and mumbling a gentle 'ok' before hanging up and turning to look at her friend with a smile. "Cab's waiting, now go, I'll see you later ok?" The dark haired woman asked as she walked over to the door and opened it for her companion. "Give it all a chance Duo, for me," she begged sweetly, he nodded gently.

"Thanks Hilde, for everything, see ya later." The brunette practically whispered as he stepped out into the corridor of the apartment complex and headed towards the elevator.

XxxxxX 

It didn't take that long to get to the Winner mansion considering Quatre had chosen to set this thing up in the one closest to Duo's home. For that, Duo was somewhat grateful, with a sigh he paid the cab driver and stepped out onto the large gravel path leading up to the mansion. The pure white gravel crunching underneath his feet as he walked up to the porch of the large house. Duo took a deep breath and lifted his hand to the wood of the door, knocking on it in an almost gentle manner.

Before he even had a chance to think of how he was going to react or what he was going to say to the blonde Arabian the door was flung open and Quatre was hugging him tightly. Duo just smiled gently; maybe things hadn't changed that much. After getting over his stupor the American began hugging the other male back.

"I'm so glad that you decided to come Duo, it's been so long since we last talked, I don't even know why we lost contact with each other. Come in, please, Trowa and Wufei are sat in the lounge. Follow me," The blonde instructed as he closed the door and grabbed hold of the brunette's arm leading him into the room he had just been talking about. Trowa smiled gently at the two as they appeared in the room.

"Duo," the emerald-eyed male greeted softly, Duo just nodded, acknowledging the other, charcoal eyes glanced up at the door. Quickly running up and down the form of the Deathscythe pilot. Duo smirked, placing his hands on his hips and staring down at the Chinese man from across the room.

"See something you like Woofles?" The braided male asked with a smirk, Wufei just glared and folded his arms across his chest. Leaning back on the couch before smirking back,

"Well looks like you haven't changed much Maxwell," the dark-haired male mumbled, Duo smirked 'you'd be surprised how much I've changed actually woo-man,' Duo thought, smirk widening slightly. Maybe he had made the right decision to come here after all.

"Uh, well take a seat Duo, dinner won't be long," Quatre said and watched as the brunette went and sat down inbetween Trowa and Wufei.

"So where have you been for the past three years Tro?" Duo asked, smiling, trying desperately to hide the nerves. He was still afraid of how different things would be, first minute meetings meant nothing. They were all still trying to act like their old selves, Duo certainly was. The emerald-eyed male turned to face the other brunette with a slight smile, see Trowa had changed, he'd learnt to smile.

"I've been working at the circus on L3 with Catherine, I just resonantly decided to take a break and come to Earth for a small vacation. I was buying a property not far from here a few weeks ago and bumped into Quatre, we started talking, about the past, the war, the Gundam's, all of you and we decided that it was time we all got in touch again. I'll admit you were very hard to track down Duo, we just seemed to keep hitting dead ends." Noting that the conversation had taken a turn and was now being focused entirely on him he chuckled softly and turned to look at Wufei.

"What about you Woo-man what have you been doing with your life?" The Chinese man just smirked and shrugged.

"The usual, I went to China for a while, did some training, not long after I was confronted by Sally Poe, she wanted me to come with her to work for the preventors. I agreed, I had just completed a mission on Earth when I received Quatre's invitation. What about you Duo, you still the same old fool you once were?" Duo chuckled, shaking his head from side to side, no, he had changed considerably even if he wasn't showing it.

"Hn, just like old times… ne?" the icy voice cut through the room, stopping the conversation giving Duo at least some relief. Not that he had anything to be ashamed off regarding his life but he knew that if he started talking about it, all attention would be on him and no one would talk about anything else. As much as he pretended, he didn't like being the centre of attention, or at least he didn't anymore. So he for one was glad for the interruption, he just didn't know what to think of the person who had interrupted.

"Heero!" Quatre almost squealed with excitement, "I didn't think you would show up," the blonde explained. Eyes wide in shock, Trowa gave the same greeting as he always did, a name followed by a nod of his head and Wufei did the same. Duo listened as the former pilot of Wing Zero returned the greetings, the braided male suddenly finding the floor to be incredibly interesting. 'Quatre must have paid a fortune on having this carpet put down, then again I suppose he has enough money…' the violet eyed male thought, trying to keep his attention on the floor and think about anything but Heero Yuy.

He failed when his curiosity got the better of him, he wanted to look at the perfect soldier, see if he had changed, what he looked like now. He wanted to stare into those two perfect sapphire eyes and see them stare back at him. However this had been the main reason he hadn't wanted to come, because he _didn't _want to see Heero again. Things had been left in one hell of a big mess between them and he knew that things would be uncomfortable, maybe not for the perfect soldier who seemed emotionless no matter what, but definitely for Duo himself.

Violet eyes lifted themselves from the floor, slowly scaling up Heero's body, then stopping as his eyes locked with the other males. Heero was still the same, a little taller, slightly more muscular but only due to the change in his height. He still had the same messy brown hair that hung over two perfectly beautiful yet unemotional eyes. Same stoic, yet some how soft facial shape. Same gently tanned skin.

"Heero," the name sounded slightly choked to him but as far as he could tell nobody else had noticed. The braided male continued to stare directly into the blue eyes even though he was starting to feel uncomfortable, he didn't want to be the one to back down. Heero however maintained his gaze on the violet eyes. If he was uncomfortable at the prolonged eye contact, he wasn't showing it.

"Duo," the name was said in a monotone, just like every other word that fell from the perfect soldier's lips. Duo coughed gently, ripping his gaze from Heero to Quatre and covering his unease with a smile.

"Sorry Qat, can I use your bathroom, I'm not feeling too good." The violet-eyed man explained, the blonde nodded and asked a passing servant to show the braided male to the nearest bathroom. Duo sighed softly and stood from his seat, walking over to where the maid was stood at the entrance to the room. On the way he passed Heero who he realised was still taller than him, by at least a head. The perfect soldier stared at the smaller male as he walked passed him.

"I think we need to talk Duo," the violet-eyed male smiled softly, glancing up to meet the two sparkling azure-eyes for a few seconds before ripping his gaze away.

"We both know that's not something you're good at, just forget it," the shorter brunette instructed as he brushed past the other. Smiling at the maid as she led him down the corridor to the washroom, he thanked her as he slid inside, locking the door and leaning against the wood. He couldn't do this, he didn't want to be here, it had been a mistake to come. His phone beeped in his pocket, he lifted it out staring at the message sent by Hilde.

_/How's everything going/ _ He sighed and quickly wrote his own message staring down at what he had written before he sent it.

_/Heero's here/ _he sent the message and put the phone back into his pocket, walking over to the sink and staring at his reflection in the mirror. He'd thought about this moment time and time again, seeing Heero again after all of this time, he had run over the event in his mind more times than he could count. He had been so sure that he would know how to handle it but now that it was happening he didn't have a clue what to say or do. Sighing he turned on the cold water tap, splashing his face with cold water and then dabbing his face dry with one of the pristine cream towels.

He sighed once again and placed the towel back over the rail as his phone started beeping in his pocket, he slid it out and opened the message. _/Is that a good or a bad thing/ _He sighed and simply replied _/It's awkward/ _before putting his phone back in his pocket and walking over to the door. The former Gundam pilot slowly turned the lock and opened the door, stepping out into the corridor to see the maid who had brought him to the bathroom waiting for him.

"Master Quatre requested that I show you to the dining room, dinner is being served." She explained and started walking, Duo following closely behind her, the four men turned to face Duo as the doors to the room slid open to reveal the brunette and the woman beside him. He smiled at them and walked into the room Quatre motioning for him to sit in the seat next to Heero. Life once again was screwing him over. With a deep intake of breath the God of Death slid into the seat beside the perfect soldier. Trowa was sat opposite of him and Wufei opposite Heero; Quatre was sat at the head of the table, next to Duo himself and Trowa.

"Are you ok Duo?" The Arabian asked, Duo smiled and nodded,

"Yeah, I just felt a little dizzy was all." The braided male explained, smiling softly "I'm fine now, sorry Qat," the blonde just smiled and nodded in understanding. "So what are we having to eat?" Duo asked, smiling brightly,

"Lasagne considering none of you really liked the Arabian dishes I prepared for you all during the war." The blonde mused, causing the others in the room to smile awkwardly and clear their throats nervously. As they insisted that the food had been lovely but not quire to their different tastes. Quatre just laughed gently, "I'm so glad that you all came, it's been wonderful spending time with you all again." The blonde said as the servants began bringing in the food. Amidst all of the hustle of the food being given out and Quatre giving instructions Heero leant closer to Duo,

"Duo, I'd appreciate it if you would talk to me," Heero whispered softly as a servant brushed passed the two of them.

"Ok Heero what would you like to talk about?"

"You know very well what I want to talk about,"

"Yeah I do, but we had three years to talk about that and not once did you even acknowledge that I existed anymore. So you know what, I don't want to talk about it now, I don't want to talk about it here, and when we leave you'll go wherever it is you go to and forget that I exist and… that'll be that."

"Stop acting like a spoilt brat," Heero demanded, Duo turned to face the other male, violet eyes shimmering slightly and a gentle smile on his face.

"I'm not, Heero, I just want the past to be exactly that, the past, I'm fed up of it coming back time and time again to screw with me. So please, drop it," Heero smiled, yeah smiled, a genuine smile as far as Duo could tell and nodded softly.

"You've changed Duo," That sent a shiver down the braided male's spine, was that a good thing or a bad thing? "You've grown up, it suits you," the sapphire-eyed male explained. Duo blinked, had Heero just complimented him? The rest of the meal was spent with light chatting about what had been happening in everyone's lives since the war. Duo merely said that he had moved to Earth and lived not far from here. Not really wanting to go into too much detail.

"We'll have to start doing this more often, I don't want to lose contact with you guys again," Quatre said turning to Trowa, "how long before you go back to L3 Trowa?" The blonde asked, a hint of sadness slipping its way into the question. Trowa smiled gently and shrugged,

"Um, two or three weeks but I might extend it, might even give it up," The brunette said, eyes locking with those belonging to the blonde Arabian. Duo raised an eyebrow as Quatre smiled and blushed softly, a smirk tugging at the braided male's lips as he watched the exchange between the two. Noticing that the room had suddenly gone silent Quatre glanced over at Wufei,

"What about you Wufei where are you going next?"

"I don't know, we get sent from place to place but I'll let you know and come by when I can." The Chinese male explained, sipping his drink,

"What about you Qat, you're still working aren't you?" The blonde nodded at Duo's question running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah I am, but I've got a lot of free time at the moment, I'm dealing with all the business meetings and stuff on Earth so I'm spending a lot of time here on my laptop or in my office with clients and business men. It's pretty boring and pretty lonely, that's why I was so glad to see Trowa again and why I'm so glad to be speaking with all of you again." The blonde caught sight of Duo's all knowing smirk and blushed slightly causing the smirk to widen. Trying desperately to hide the blush Quatre turned his attention to Heero. "You've been rather quite Heero, what have you been doing all this time?"

"I've been Relena's bodyguard," if there was a metaphor for how everyone was feeling at that moment, Duo choking on his drink pretty much summed it up. The God of Death coughed violently as he stood from his seat the chair scraping along the floor with a screech as it was pushed from the table. Three years, Heero had ignored Duo's existence for three years because he had been with **_Relena_**. Duo had been right earlier, sometimes not knowing was better than knowing.

"Duo are you ok?" Quatre asked as he got up and helped Duo out of the room, leading the braided male down the corridor and into the bathroom where the braided male drank some water from the tap before sitting down on the edge of the bath and running his hands over his face. "Duo, what's wrong?" The blonde asked, crouching down infront of his friend and placing his hand on his knee.

"Nothing, I just choked, I mean the last place I thought Heero had been these past three years was working with Relena." He stopped, taking a deep breath and steadying his nerves, "three years, I heard nothing from him for three years then he lets it slip that for those three years he's been working for Relena. It's just a kick in the teeth is all." Quatre stared up at his friend ocean eyes shimmering inquisitively.

"Duo…" the Arabian male paused, as if trying to think of how to phrase the question he wanted to ask. "That night after the mission when you and Heero didn't come back to the safe house, what happened?" The violet-eyed male blinked several times, then sighed and smiled softly, knocking a few strands of hair out of his eyes before he decided to explain.

"The mission… we screwed up… I screwed up. We left the base with soldiers snapping at our heels, ran into the nearby forest with bullets raining down on us, we knew that there was no way we would make it to our Gundam's, so we were looking for somewhere to hide. It started to rain, I was so preoccupied with looking for somewhere to hide that I didn't hear the branches snap as the soldier moved closer, got into range. He fired, shot me, I collapsed, Heero shot back, killed the guy. Mine wasn't a life-threatening wound, the bullet had hit me in the side, it was painful, but we had to keep moving. Heero helped me through the woods, firing at the soldiers that got too close but I knew, he knew and they knew that he was running out of bullets." Duo stopped, looking down at his hands,

"So, what happened? You obviously made it out alive, why didn't you come home? Did Heero take you to the hospital why didn't you ever tell us about any of this?" The blonde asked, he didn't sound angry or upset, just a little curious.

"We found a shelter of some sorts, there was um, a hatch that led down to a shaft, dug out during one of the wars. We decided to hide in there, some kids must have been using it as a hang out cause it was pretty cosy and warm down there, which was good considering we were wet, freezing and bleeding. I'm not going to go into details, Heero removed the bullet, got his gun took out the last bullet, split it open poured the gunpowder onto my wound, told me that it was gunna hurt like hell and that he was sorry. Then he set it on fire, cauterising the wound; turns out Heero doesn't exaggerate, it really did hurt like hell. I have a pretty little scar there to remind me off it, I passed out, then when I woke up we went home, you were all asleep so we didn't think there was any point in telling you and, that's that."

"Oh," Quatre smiled softly, getting the impression that Duo had left something out but it was obviously something that the brunette was not yet comfortable with discussing so he figured that he would let it slide. As if noticing that the blonde knew he had edited the story Duo smirked and stared down at Quatre, eyebrow raised.

"But um, you and Tro, what's going on there Qat, I saw that loving look in your eyes earlier and I see you're blushing now. So, spill," Duo prompted, the blonde sighed heavily and tried to conceal his blush with his hands as Duo prodded him for an explanation. The blonde groaned softly, finally giving in and glancing up at the braided male.

"Nothing is going on, we're just, friends but… well, I really like him Duo and all the time I've been spending with him lately, it's just been really… I don't know really nice and I don't know I just feel so happy and content when I'm around him. He makes me feel comfortable and makes me relax and all I know for sure is that I don't want him to go back to L3, to Catherine, to the circus, I want him to stay here, with me." Duo smiled softly and ruffled the blonde's hair.

"Have you told him any of this?" The brunette asked, the blonde just shook his head, pouting slightly, making Duo smile even more. It was worth coming here, if only just to talk with Quatre again, "well, you should, he might surprise you. Qat, I saw the look in your eyes when you were talking with him earlier and I also saw that exact same look reflected in those pretty emerald eyes of Tro's, the thing is, if you don't say anything you'll never know what you could have had." Duo explained, ruffling the blonde hair once again.

"Like you with Heero?" Quatre asked, Duo blinked, he felt as though Quatre had just tipped a bucket of ice cold water over him, had he really been that obvious? Shaking off his surprise the brunette chuckled softly and shook his head.

"Me and Heero we're different, but you and Trowa, now that's a different story." Duo said, turning the conversation away from him once again. "You have two, three weeks with him, work on it Qat, it's worth a shot." Quatre smiled and nodded, standing up and pulling Duo up with him, hugging his friend gently.

"I suppose it is, thanks Duo, anyway, we should really be getting back now." The blonde said, letting go of the other male and walking over to the door. The two slowly made their way back to the dining room where the other three males were sat in what appeared to be a comfortable silence. Duo and Quatre chuckled slightly as they made their way back to their seats.

"God, without us you guys wouldn't say a word would you?" Duo inquired as he sat in the chair next to Heero. Avoiding eye contact with the perfect soldier, Quatre chuckled slightly, locking gazes with Trowa and blushing gently causing the brunette to smirk. Emerald-eyes turned to see Duo smirking 'innocently' causing Trowa to raise an eyebrow suspiciously. The sound of a phone beeping made Duo jump and he reached into his pocket, removing his phone only to see that no one had called him or sent him a message. He turned to his left to see Heero staring down at his own phone emotionlessly. He returned it to his jacket pocket and rose from his seat.

"I have to go now," Heero explained, voice placid yet harsh, icy, just as it always had been.

"Relena?" Duo asked, unable to stop the name from dripping with contempt as it slipped past his lips. Sapphire locked with violet and Duo wondered if Heero was trying to apologise in his own stoic way, the God of Death just shrugged and chuckled softly, "anything for the one you love." The sentence fell from soft lips like poison, he hated saying it in regards to Relena but what else was there to say? He jumped when his own phone started ringing in his pocket, he picked it up, placing it to his ear, violet eyes still clashing with blue threateningly.

"What?" His eyes softened though why Heero couldn't tell, "ok, ok, calm down," the braided male explained, panic and concern flashing through the beautiful lavender depths. "I told you, why didn't you listen to me? Why did you keep pushing me!" The brunette asked, voice raised and furious, the other Gundam pilots blinked, they had never seen Duo so worried and angry before. "Shit, I'll be there as soon as I can, I'm sorry, it's not your fault it's mine, I have responsibilities…" his voice softened, defeated, afraid. He hit the end call button on his phone and shoved it back into his pocket, hands clenching into fists at his side.

"Is everything alright Duo?" Trowa asked, the violet-eyed male just shook his head, braid whipping from side to side violently as he did so.

"I'm sorry Quatre, I have to go," the braided male announced, storming out of the room before anyone could notice the tears shimmering in violet depths. Tears he struggled to keep at bay within his eyes, Heero followed the other, catching up to him in the hallway just before the door and placing a hand on the braided male's shoulder. Turning him so that they were looking at each other.

"Duo?" The taller male said as he saw the wall of tears in the lavender eyes. "I'll drive you home." Heero announced, leading Duo towards the door, the smaller brunette just knocked his hand away, glaring at him darkly.

"I don't need or want your help Heero Yuy! Just, leave me alone! Go back to Relena!" The shorter male screamed, ripping his gaze from the other and storming towards the door.

"I'll get you there a lot faster than any cab Duo, I won't pry, I won't say anything if you don't want me to but please, let me just do this one thing for you." Violet eyes returned to sapphire and despite his better judgement he gave a gentle nod, he didn't know why he did it. He had wanted to say no, to shove the other away and simply call a cab, another part of him wanted nothing more than to be with Heero and the rational part of himself simply told him that faster was better.

Heero led the other to his car and opened the door for him, the two sliding in before Heero turned the key in the ignition, starting the car. The journey, just as Heero had promised, was a silent one, each man lost in their own musings and, just as Heero had promised, they arrived outside of Duo's apartment building in half the time it had taken the cab to get from his to Quatre's in the first place. As the car pulled to a stop the braided male turned to face the perfect soldier, smiling weakly as their gazes locked.

"Thank you Heero," the violet-eyed male said softly, bowing his head before opening the door and slipping out of the car. Heero watched as the shorter male closed the car door and walked into the apartment building. A few minutes later Heero's phone started beeping in his jacket pocket, which had been carelessly thrown over the back seat. He knew that it was Relena asking him where he was, so he chose to ignore it. Truth be told he had no idea why he had agreed to being her bodyguard when he himself wanted her dead.

TBC… GWGWGWGWGWGWGW 

Ok, had to stop there for now, mainly because that is the longest first chapter I have ever written, anyway this is my fist GW fic posted here so please leave a review and tell me what you thought. a lot of the questions asked in this chappie will be answered in the next so, if you're curious, tune in then n.n thanks for reading and I hope you liked n.n


	2. Secret

**_Thanks to all the people who reviewed, it meant so much to me to see people enjoying my work and I hope you all like chapter two…_**

**Disclaimer- **I forgot to put this on the last chapter but no I don't own Gundam Wing or the characters, the plot however is completely mine.

A/N- Sorry this took so long to get up, I had major problems with updating, thanks for waiting n.n

**_GWGWGWGWGWGWGW_**

_**Chapter two**_

_Soft moans filled the air as hands and lips trailed their way down bare, heated flesh, hands ran through short messy brown hair, grabbing hold of the silken locks as he arched up into the others touch. The smaller male's breathing was becoming increasingly heavier as the other's assaults became more passionate and lust filled. The thought crossed his mind that that was all this was, lust, nothing more than the need and want to fuck him. To relieve stress and tension, the thought dissipated into nothingness when the others lips pressed against his in a bruising kiss. _

_The others tongue began massaging the smaller male's lips, asking for entry, and who was he to deny the other of what he wanted. Lips parted and another tongue rubbed up against his own, making gentle sweeps in his mouth. The smaller of the two moaned into the action, becoming completely submissive and caught up in the passion of the moment. He needed this, they both needed this, they needed to escape, to just feel the body of another human being against that of their own. _

_To feel normal to be normal just for once, the smaller male gasped as the other male began to tease one of his nipples, running his tongue around it before biting down on the small nub playfully. The braided male arched up into the action, any coherent thought slipping from his mind as the others hands trailed down his chest to the bulge in his pants where the other began to massage him through the material._

_Violet eyes became clouded with lust as the taller male moved his lips up to his neck. Suckling and biting the tender flesh that lay there, eliciting the most exotic and interesting sounds to slip from the shinigami's lips causing the other to smirk into the pale flesh and continue his assaults. Slowly the taller teen kissed his way up the braided male's neck to his lips, smashing his against the kiss swollen ones of the shinigami's and slipping his tongue back into the smaller males mouth. He loved the way Duo tasted, _

_Absolutely adored the way the shinigami's body reacted to every tiny touch and kiss he placed upon it. He smirked, staring up at the other; he had never seen him look more beautiful than he did at that moment. Half naked, panting heavily, perfectly pale flesh covered in a sheen of sweat, water droplets shimmering in his hair and that hazed lustful look clouding his eyes. Their lips met again, tongues meeting and battling for dominance, the braided male eventually giving in, accepting his role as the submissive one. Allowing the taller male's tongue to explore his mouth once again, the braided teen just wrapped his arms around his partner's neck, deepening what was already an incredibly intense kiss. _

_Duo arched up once again, grinding his hips against those of the elder males causing the other to moan into the kiss and grind back, desperate for the friction. The elder smirked as he moved his hands down to the top of the others pants, unfastening the button with a practised ease, then slowly and painstakingly pulling the zip down. _

_XxxxxX_

Duo gasped, sitting bolt upright in his bed, covers hazardously tangled around his frame as his eyes opened wide and his breathing slowed to a more natural level. With a sigh the braided male noticed his obvious arousal created by the dream via the erection creating a tent in the material of his boxers. He growled darkly, he had been completely free of these dreams for such a long time now and he wasn't happy about their return. With another sigh the former Gundam pilot stood from the bed and made his way over to the en-suite bathroom.

Removing his boxers and turning the shower to cold he stepped underneath the stream of water, desperately trying to will his now almost painful erection away. It was stupid, the dream was stupid, He was stupid it was all so fucking stupid and he didn't want to have to deal with it anymore. Ok so maybe he sounded a little childish, but he was tired of having to fight against emotions and desires that could never be reached. Tired of fighting to regain something that he had never even really had, and tired of being haunted by the past.

After an hour under the cold water the braided male had finally regained control of his hormones. He realised after about half an hour that if he started to think of Relena what was arousal soon turned into immense loathing and hatred. The dream long since forgotten, the lust quickly dissipated into nothingness. Sighing softly the brunette stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and using another to dry himself off.

With a gentle sigh the braided male stepped back into his room, walking over to his drawers he grabbed a clean pair of boxers and slipped them on. Removing the towel he threw it onto the pile of clothes in the corner before walking over to his cupboard and looking for something to wear. After throwing on the priest like outfit that looked exactly like the one he had worn during the war he walked back over to the pile of clothes, picking them up and carrying them over to the wash basket.

When he returned he saw a small slip of paper on the floor, violet eyes just stared at it inquisitively before he began to move towards it, picking it up so that he could see what it was. He blinked a few dozen times as he read what was scribbled on the paper, a simple note _–Duo, I'm sorry, __Heero-_ then a phone number. The Shinigami sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed as he stared at the piece of paper in his hand.

He tried to think back to the events of last night, to when Heero would have slipped the note into his pocket but he kept coming up with blanks. He smiled softly, the wing pilot was still as sneaky as he always had been and he could still catch Duo off guard easily, even after three years without so much as a word between the two of them.

Opening the drawer of his bedside table he placed the small slip of paper inside one of the books within, to keep it safe. Then he closed the drawer just staring at it for a while; it was strange, seeing the others after three years of nothing. Even stranger seeing Heero and seeing how the perfect soldier hadn't changed a single bit.

He jumped when he heard a knock on the door, roughly pulled out of his musings by the sound of a fist hitting against solid wood. The thought passing through his mind that it was Heero Yuy knocking on his door. The perfect soldier stood on the other side of the wood, stoic, icy, sapphire eyes staring at nothing and everything all at once. Those words falling from his lips, _'we need to talk…' _

Duo knew they needed to talk, hell he wanted to talk to Heero about it all, find out the reasoning behind everything the wing pilot had done. Yet everytime he looked into those azure eyes, he stopped dead and he realised that he _didn't _want to talk, he _didn't _want to know. He wanted to live in denial, wanted the condolence that he _didn't _know, because if he knew the reasoning, it might be simply that Heero didn't care…

That was something that Duo didn't want to hear because it hurt, as the knocking on the door became more urgent the braided male stood from the bed and walked out of his bedroom. He sighed as he reached the door, leaning out and turning the handle, opening the door he felt a mixture of relief and disappointment, it wasn't Heero, there were no icy eyes staring at him emotionlessly. It was just Hilde, smiling happily and complaining about how long it took Duo to open the goddamned door. Closing the door he turned to face the dark haired woman smiling gently, weakly.

"Hey Hilde," he said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice, he thought about that for the briefest of moments, he was disappointed, had he wanted it to be Heero? Why had he wanted that? His heart throbbed painfully within his chest. Just as he had escaped from his demons they crawled back, clawing at him and dragging him back into the past he had struggled to escape.

"Hey D, I just came round to apologise for last night, I really didn't want to call you and drag you away from Qat's but I didn't know what else to do and I totally understand you being angry with me. I should have listened when you said that I couldn't handle things and that you had responsibilities and had to be here. I just, I wanted you to see them again, you all used to be so close and I just… I don't know, I wanted what I thought was best. I'm sorry Duo…"

"No, it's fine Hilde, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have shouted at you, it wasn't your fault, I was just worried was all, and before that I was actually having a pretty good time." Duo explained, a genuine smile tugging at his lips at certain memories of the previous night. Hilde squealed slightly and ran into the lounge, sitting down on the couch and patting the leather next to her as an indication for Duo to join her on the leather sofa.

"Come on Duo, I want to hear the whole story," Hilde exclaimed as she watched the brunette walk into the lounge and collapse onto the couch beside her.

"There's not much to say really, when I got to Qat's Trowa and Wufei were already there. I asked them what they had been doing for the past three years, Tro said he'd been on L3 working at the circus there with Catherine. Apparently he's on Earth for a vacation, he was buying a house somewhere and bumped into Quatre, they got to talking and decided that it was time for us to get in touch again." The former Deathscythe pilot explained, smiling softly. Hilde blinked slightly and noted that there was a large chunk of the story seemingly missing…

"What about Wufei what has he been doing?" The dark-haired woman pried, it wasn't exactly the topic she wanted to discuss but she thought that it would be best to work her way up to that slowly.

"Uh, he's working for the preventors, with Sally. Not too surprising really," the braided male told her, before he could say anything else or avoid the subject he didn't want to talk about Hilde voiced the question that he had been dreading.

"And Heero? You said that he was there, did it turn out to be a good or a bad thing? What's he been doing?" She asked, the brunette sighed, nodding gently for a while before turning to face her with a soft smile.

"Yeah Heero arrived last, it was uncomfortable to begin with, strange to be in the same room with him again after three years. He wanted to talk but… I just couldn't, the mere thought of talking with him made me feel queasy and uncertain." The violet-eyed man whispered, staring down at where his hands lay motionlessly in his lap.

"I thought that you wanted to talk to Heero, wanted to set things straight and everything, why didn't you, last night was the perfect opportunity?" Hilde asked sympathetically, placing a hand onto her friend's shoulder. She understood that this whole situation was hard for the brunette but she also couldn't see why he hadn't spoken to the other male when it was what he had wanted to do for so long.

"I did, I do, it's a great idea in theory and I can have it all planned out in my head previously but when I'm stood there infront of him I just, I don't want to do it. I can't, all I can think about is getting away. Hilde, I'm sorry but I really don't want to talk about this anymore," the braided male told her, standing up and walking into the kitchen to make himself a coffee. The dark-haired woman just followed, arms folded across her chest in mild annoyance.

"Fine, don't, keep it all to yourself, so what's the perfect soldier been doing for the past three years?" Hilde asked, leaning against one of the sides as she watched her companion make his coffee. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and glancing from his drink to her and then back again.

"He's… he's been working as Relena's bodyguard," Hilde went to say something but stopped when she realised she didn't know what to say. Duo continued anyway. "Three years he forgot I existed, three years of nothing, because he was with Relena." The words fell from his lips with such malice and distaste that it shocked Hilde somewhat, this wasn't the Duo she knew.

"Oh Duo, I'm sorry, but working for her doesn't mean that there's something between the two of them. It just means that he needed a job and she gave him one." The dark-haired woman explained with a gentle smile. The braided male smiled back and nodded,

"I know, but still he had three years to talk to me, and he didn't because protecting Relena was too important, I'm sorry if that makes me ever so slightly bitter. He even left early last night because She called him demanding that he return as she can't live without him for five seconds." The brunette growled, sipping his freshly made coffee,

"When did he leave?" the dark-haired woman asked,

"Uh, the same time as I did actually, you called just after Relena did."

"Did you get a cab home?" Hilde asked, eyes shimmering with knowledge, when things had started to cool down last night she had taken her chance to look out of the window and check for Duo. Meaning that she had seen the sleek, black sports car, that had definitely not been a cab, parked outside of the apartment building. She had seen Duo step out of it and turn around to say something to the man inside before running off into the building. What she had not seen was who had been driving, though she did have a pretty good idea of who it had been.

"Um, no, Heero dropped me off, I wanted to get a cab but he insisted. Said that he could get me home a lot faster than any cab could, he was right, of course I never said a word to him so… how did he know where I lived?" The braided male mused, more to himself than to the woman in his company.

"You must have told him earlier in the evening or told one of the others and he overheard it," Hilde offered as an explanation, the brunette just shook his head,

"No, I never told anyone anything about myself, I certainly never said where I lived. Hilde, how did Heero know?" She chuckled and shrugged,

"Well, Quatre might have told him because he obviously knows where you live. Or, he's part bloodhound,"

"Qat wouldn't have told him, he knows that there's a slight amount of bad blood between us, a past, he just wouldn't have done that. Plus he didn't really have time to, he was arranging the whole thing remember. It's just strange is all but then again I suppose he is the perfect soldier. He's Heero Yuy, if anyone could find me I guessed that it would be him." Hilde smiled and nodded,

"Yeah, stop being so paranoid, D, Heero is Heero." The dark-haired woman explained with a slight chuckle, "hm, hm, maybe he's been stalking you for all this time," Hilde joked, running a hand through her hair and laughing. Duo chuckled slightly, knocking several strands of hair out of soft violet eyes.

"Whatever, do you want to stay for lunch Hilde?" The braided male asked with a gentle smile as he jumped up onto the counter.

"I'd love to, but I can't, I promised Eli that we would go out for lunch today, she said that I'd best swing round here first to check out how things were." She muttered gently, glancing down at the floor and then back up at Duo. He smiled softly glancing over at the closed door leading to the second bedroom.

"Everything's fine Hilde, don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault, these things just happen." He told her gently, turning to face her with another smile. She nodded and smiled back, sighing softly.

"Well D, if everything's ok then I guess I'd best be getting home." The dark-haired woman mused aloud as she grabbed her bag off of the couch and headed to the door. "I'll see ya tomorrow ok?" She smiled and reached the door, extending her hand and turning the handle until the door clicked open. She waved goodbye to the Shinigami, who waved back, and stepped out of the apartment to collide with someone stood in the corridor. "Ow, oops, sorry… oh…" she stopped as she saw whom it was that she had walked into.

"Hilde," the male greeted softly, she smiled nervously and bowed to greet the elder male,

"Hilde, what's up?" Duo asked, stepping out of the apartment to see the dark-haired woman stood infront of no other than Heero Yuy. Sapphire and amethyst locked for the briefest of moments before Duo ripped his gaze away from the taller males, settling on Hilde.

"Uh… I've got to go, D, are you gonna be ok?" The dark-haired woman asked softly, the braided male just smiled and nodded.

"He'll be fine, I certainly am not intending to hurting him if that's what you're worried about,"

"In what way are you talking about Heero? You can hurt him without using your fists,"

"It's ok Hilde, you go, I'll be fine, I'll see ya tomorrow ok?" Duo asked with a smile, the woman nodded and smiled back as she waved goodbye to her friend, nodding gently in Heero's direction in a way that meant goodbye. Heero nodded back as she stepped into the elevator, the doors closing as the lift began to descend. There was silence for a long few minutes before the braided male sighed heavily and glanced back into his apartment. "So, do you want to come in?" Heero nodded and walked over to the shorter man,

"Duo, we have to talk," The former wing pilot explained as he stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him and following Duo over to the centre of the room where the Shinigami just stood staring at him.

"Yeah we do, lets start with you telling me how you knew where I lived yesterday when you drove me home. I know that I didn't give you any directions Heero," the smaller brunette growled softly. Heero just started as him placidly,

"Relena told me a year or two ago, she got someone to track you down. We were driving past in the limo one-day; she pointed it out to me, told me which floor you lived on, what number your apartment was, which window was yours. Everything," the sapphire-eyed male explained and could, without looking, tell that the violet-eyes had just narrowed dangerously.

"What?" Duo started, the word sounding venomous to taller male's ears, "You've known where I've lived for the past two years but you didn't come and talk to me. You didn't come see me, didn't give me the peace of mind to know that you were alive and well, what kind of fucked up bastard does that!" Duo yelled,

"It was for the best, Relena told me it would only drag up the past you so desperately wanted to forget," Heero explained as stoically as ever, Duo chuckled staring down at the floor for a minute before glancing back up to glare at the taller male stood opposite him.

"Since when did you start listening to everything Relena Peacecraft says?"

"Since she started telling me what was best for you,"

"And just how does she know what's best for me Heero? For fucks sake I don't even know what's best for me so how can a woman that clearly despises me know what I never could?" The Shinigami asked voice softening slightly.

"Well, if I'm not mistaken we're both here now, and we have a lot to talk about." Duo sighed softly, rubbing his forehead as he leant against the French window leading to the balcony.

"Yeah, where the hell do we start?" Duo asked, glancing over at the closed door leading to the second bedroom. Heero followed his gaze, looking at the door with a questioning eyebrow raised.

"How about at the beginning, that night, when we left the base, running from the soldiers, when we were in the shelter." The perfect soldier suggested placidly, Duo glanced up at the taller male, eyes shimmering slightly.

"No, please, Heero I can't, I just can't, I'll talk to you about anything else but not that, not now at least." The smaller male muttered gently, his voice pleading with the other. Sapphire-eyes just stared down at the former Deathscythe pilot inquisitively. He stepped forward, standing just before the shorter male; he smiled softly, but let the smile disappear from his face before Duo could catch sight of it. With a sigh the blue-eyed male placed his hand underneath the braided male's chin, lifting his head so that he could stare into the perfect Amethyst depths. "W…what are you doing?" Duo stuttered, eyes still shimmering,

"You've changed so much Duo, you're not as brash as you once were, I fear that at least part of that is due to me and what happened between us. The one thing about you though that has remained the same and probably will never change is your eyes, they're exactly as they were." The taller explained, voice hushed, Duo blinked dumbfounded by the others behaviour, what was Heero trying to say?

"H…Heero…" Duo began the clicking of a door opening going unnoticed by the two male's stood in the centre of the apartment.

"Duo, please, just listen to me… that night…" Heero started, keeping his gaze on the others eyes though all he wanted to do was stare down at the floor below his feet. Not a day had gone past when he hadn't thought about Duo, when he hadn't thought about that night and the horrible mess that had been left between the two of them. Yet over the past three years, mainly the last two he had not been able to bring himself to come talk to his Shinigami, to explain everything. Instead he had just parked outside the building, staring up at that one window and wondering what was going on in Duo's life, how he was.

"Daddy… what's going on… who's this man?" Both boys glanced over to see a small boy dressed in pyjamas with light brown hair and shimmering green eyes stood in the doorway to the second bedroom. He was yawning and rubbing his eyes free of sleep, a small plush rabbit dragging along the floor, held in the right hand of the small boy. Heero turned back to stare at Duo, eyes wide, Duo smiled softly nervously…

"Heero…" Duo began pulling out of Heero's grasp and walking over to the boy stood in the doorway to the bedroom. Lifting him from the floor and balancing him on his right hip before turning back to stare at the former wing pilot. "This is my son… Hisoka…"

**_GWGWGWGWGWGWGW _**

Ooh, I know I know, shorter than the last chapter but I wanted to leave it there to set the scene for the next chapter, hope you liked enough to review and that you'll be back to see what happens in the next chappie…


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